Exactly, bullshit.

“Master, a sedan chair is coming. Step to the roadside.”

Wang Taichang’s old steward tugged at Wang Yuanfeng, who was busy gnawing on a candied hawthorn skewer, while behind them came the drumming, the blaring of suona horns, and all the bustle of a wedding procession.

“Master, come on, let’s take a look.”

Watching the sedan chair pass by in splendid commotion, the old steward dragged the grinning Wang Yuanfeng along.

“It’s a bride-taking ceremony, Master. Look there.”

At the gate, the old steward saw the groom kick the sedan chair. A bride, her face hidden beneath a red veil, stepped out. The groom then held out the scarlet silk ribbon in his hand, and only then did the bride take hold of the other end. Firecrackers cracked and burst at the entrance as well.

“They’ve gone in.”

Seeing the bride and groom enter the Zhao residence, the old steward stroked his white beard and said.

“Uncle Manxiang, come on.”

Wang Yuanfeng had stepped out onto the road and now noticed a roadside stall with a piece of red cloth that looked strikingly like the bride’s veil. He picked it up and was just about to place it over the old steward’s head.

“Be my wife!”

“Master, n-no, no, I’m a man. How could I be your wife?”

Sweating coldly, the old steward hurriedly took the red cloth from Wang Yuanfeng’s hands and said.

“I don’t care. Just put on the red cloth!”

Like a child, Wang Yuanfeng insisted and tried to drape it over the old steward’s head.

The old steward had no choice but to dodge.

“Master, Master, you mustn’t. People will laugh at us.”

The old steward blocked Wang Yuanfeng and said. On the street beside them, he could already feel strange looks turning their way.

“I don’t care. I want you to be my wife!”

Wang Yuanfeng began throwing a childish tantrum.

The old steward had no choice but to flee. Wang Yuanfeng then chased after him with the red silk ribbon, while the stall owner behind them shouted, “My ribbon! Bring it back!”

At the Palace Censor’s residence,

“Looking for trouble, are you?”

The man had only just gotten out of his sedan chair when he barked at a group of brats. One of them kicked the rattan ball straight into the chest of the richly dressed man.

“Master, are you all right?”

A servant nearby hurriedly lowered his head and asked.

The man merely raised a hand.

“Give us back our ball!”

The children did not apologize. They all shouted in unison.

“You want the ball?”

The man held the rattan ball and circled it in front of them.

“Give us back our ball!”

Then he pretended to throw it behind them. The children all turned at once to look.

The man sneered and walked into the residence. The children tried to rush forward, but the servant stopped them.

“What do you think you’re doing? Looking for death? Get lost, now.”

The servant raised his fist and gestured menacingly at the children. The children could only lower their heads and leave.

“What’s wrong with you all? I bought these candied hawthorn skewers for you. They’re especially tasty.”

Wang Yuanfeng had grown bored of chasing the old steward and had slipped away without him noticing. None of the children took the skewers from his hand; if it had been before, they would already have been eating them.

“Didn’t we agree? I’d treat you to candied hawthorn, and you’d play rattan ball with me.”

Wang Yuanfeng thought they did not want to play with him, so they were refusing the treat.

“The ball was taken by that bastard from the Palace Censor’s residence,” said the tallest of the children.

“How about this? You go in and get the ball. We’ll wait here.”

With that, Wang Yuanfeng handed the candied hawthorn skewers to them, turned around, climbed the wall, and slipped secretly into the Palace Censor’s residence.

After entering the back courtyard, Wang Yuanfeng wandered through several places, but he still could not find the rattan ball. Instead, he noticed a direction where purple light was glowing, and it drew his attention. He walked toward it.

When he drew near and looked in, he saw the back of a woman. Her arms swayed, her body undulated like a snake, but because a door stood between them, Wang Yuanfeng could not see clearly.

Yao Shuang was circulating her demon power. Beneath her feet, she had already transformed into a snake tail, which was coiled around a man’s body. She had sensed that someone was outside the room, but she did not stop. Right now she urgently needed vital essence to heal her injuries.

She then gathered demon power in her palm and pressed it against the man’s face. The man instantly began to suffer. White vapors poured from his nostrils, eyes, and mouth, all of which were drawn into Yao Shuang’s hand. Once he died, he became nothing but skin and bones, his eyes hollow and black, his mouth stretched wide open, teeth still visible, his skin pitch-black.

“That vile fox—I’ll make you pay for this someday, and that scholar too!”

When she was done, Yao Shuang’s eyes were bloodred, her chest heaving violently as she thought this to herself.

“Who are you? Sneaking around there?”

Wang Jihong placed a hand on Wang Yuanfeng’s shoulder.

“Well, well, isn’t this the fool from Wang Taichang’s house? Ha-ha.”

Recognizing Wang Yuanfeng, Wang Jihong laughed.

“My father says it’s very rude to call people fools. Just call me Yuanfeng. The yuan of New Year’s Eve, and the feng of plenty and abundance.”

Seeing them burst into laughter, Wang Yuanfeng did not get angry. He said it calmly instead.

“Ha-ha, this fool has quite the silver tongue,” Wang Jihong said, laughing again.

“Ha-ha, the young master is right!”

The servants echoed Wang Jihong’s words as well.

“But I’ve heard my father mention your father to me many times. He says your father in court is always making things difficult for decent people.”

Wang Jihong’s smile faded. Looking at Wang Yuanfeng with dislike, he went on.

“The court? I don’t know anything about court affairs. Could you give me back the rattan ball in your hand?”

When he heard the word “court,” Wang Yuanfeng looked utterly blank. Then, seeing the rattan ball in Wang Jihong’s hand, he smiled and said,

“Do you really want this rattan ball back? As long as you agree to do one thing for me, I’ll return it to you.”

At once, Wang Jihong thought of a scheme to humiliate Wang Taichang, Wang Hongzhi.

“All right.”

Wang Yuanfeng nodded firmly.

“Go to the street and find a woman called Madam Qiu. Then pull down your trousers and fart in front of her. But make sure she really is Madam Qiu first.”

Wang Jihong laughed as he spoke.

“You wait here. I’ll go right now.”

Wang Yuanfeng did not hesitate for even a moment after hearing that. He turned and left the Palace Censor’s residence.

“Master, should we follow him?”

The servant, seeing Wang Yuanfeng go, said ingratiatingly.

“No need. That fool will do exactly as he’s told.”

Wang Jihong lifted a hand and laughed.

“Excuse me, do you know where Madam Qiu is?”

Wang Yuanfeng had been walking the street for half an hour and still had not found any Madam Qiu, nor did he know her, so he stopped someone to ask.

“Madam Qiu? One slap from her and even nine jin of pork wouldn’t be enough to make it up to you.”

The man was a pork seller, a butcher knife in his hand. After saying this, he shrank back toward his stall.

“What kind of filthy chamber pot is this old emperor’s? It’s clearly just your broken chamber pot!”

At that moment, a fierce, heavyset woman with a black mole beneath the left side of her nose was dragging a young man by the back and cursing him in the street.

“You dare lie to me? I’ll kick you to death! I’ll kick you to death!”

Madam Qiu kept stomping on the young man, who could only cry out helplessly. A crowd quickly gathered around them.

“Get lost! Get out of here! You’ve made me furious!”

Madam Qiu then grabbed the chamber pot and smashed it down on his head. It shattered into pieces, and the young man scrambled away on hands and knees.

“Impressive, impressive.”

“Madam, Madam, you’re so formidable—you must know that Madam Qiu.”

Wang Yuanfeng looked at the ferocious woman without fear and stepped forward to pat her on the shoulder.

“You’ve got no eyes and no sense. Who are you to be so insolent? Are you looking for death?”

Madam Qiu put her hands on her hips, sizing Wang Yuanfeng up from head to toe as she shouted. Unfortunately, Wang Yuanfeng was a fool and understood none of it.

“I’m not looking for death. I’m looking for Qiu, Da, Madam.”

Naively, Wang Yuanfeng enunciated Madam Qiu’s name one syllable at a time.

“I am Madam Qiu. If you’ve got something to say, say it quickly. Don’t fart around!”

Madam Qiu roared at Wang Yuanfeng, who could only cover his ears.

“Oh, so you are Madam Qiu! Ha-ha, how did you know I was just about to fart?”

Wang Yuanfeng said, smiling like the fool he was.

“What?”

This time Madam Qiu was stunned too.

“You just stand there and don’t move.”

Saying this, Wang Yuanfeng turned around and began untying his belt. Then he pulled down his trousers, which left Madam Qiu staring at a pair of pale white buttocks, and she let out a panicked scream.

“Pfft...! Ah!”

After finishing his fart, Wang Yuanfeng felt wonderfully refreshed. He then pulled up his trousers and tied them again.

By then, many people on the street had gathered, pointing and whispering at them.

“Didn’t you say you liked it best when people farted beside you?”

Wang Yuanfeng said while tying his belt.

“Who said that?”

Enraged, Madam Qiu drew an axe from behind her and was just about to hack down at Wang Yuanfeng.

Startled, Wang Yuanfeng turned and ran.

“You little brat, I’ll hack you to death!”

Madam Qiu hurled the axe in Wang Yuanfeng’s direction. It even chopped down the hanging slabs of pork beside it, sending them crashing onto the table, before the blade struck the pork dead on.

The onlookers, terrified, fled for their lives, and Madam Qiu could no longer see where Wang Yuanfeng had run to.

“Well done. As expected, the fool from Wang Taichang’s house. At last I’ve been able to vent my father’s anger for him.”

Very soon, Wang Jihong received word of what had happened. Wang Yuanfeng had fled straight to the back gate of the Palace Censor’s residence, barged in, and collided with Wang Jihong. Wang Jihong patted Wang Yuanfeng on the shoulder and laughed.

“Madam Qiu, she wants to kill people.”

Wang Yuanfeng was panting hard and could not even make out what Wang Jihong was saying.

“Is that so? Madam Qiu wouldn’t dare kill anyone recklessly on the street.”

Wang Jihong patted Wang Yuanfeng on the shoulder again.

“By the way, can you give me back the rattan ball now?”

Wang Yuanfeng pointed at the rattan ball in Wang Jihong’s hand.

“That one? Of course I can give it back to you.”

Wang Jihong’s words made Wang Yuanfeng overjoyed. Then he flung it to the ground. Just as Wang Yuanfeng bent down to pick it up, Wang Jihong lifted his foot and crushed the rattan ball under it.

“How could you smash it like that!”

Wang Yuanfeng shouted angrily at Wang Jihong.

“Hmph, fool.”

With a cold laugh, Wang Jihong turned to leave.

“You’re too much!”

Wang Yuanfeng rushed forward, laid a hand on Wang Jihong’s shoulder, spun him around, and swung his fist straight at Wang Jihong’s face.