Black Emperor (Head Replacement)

Back when I was foolish, when I was ignorant, I had no idea how ugly my wife was. But now, with this enlightened mind, I cannot bear to face her. Lu Yuanjun, you are a man too, aren’t you?” Zhu Erdan spoke with growing agitation.

“I am, I am a man,” Lu Pan replied without hesitation.

“Then you should understand: what every man needs is a gentle and lovely wife, am I right?” Zhu Erdan went on.

“Well… yes, that’s right, yes, yes, yes. Let me tell you, when I was alive, my wife was coarse too—I wanted to choke her, damn it, I nearly fell for your trick again. I’m telling you, there’s no way around it, marriage is fated by heaven.” As Lu Pan spoke, he realized he was almost caught by Zhu Erdan’s argument; his fiery temper flared.

“Though we are both pitiful in the same way, you still have it better than I do. You’re in the underworld, you don’t have to face your wife, but I still have to suffer.” Zhu Erdan spoke angrily.

“Well, I’m sorry, I can only offer my sympathy for that,” Lu Pan said, stroking his red beard.

“I feel worse than dead—might as well die and reincarnate as a pig,” Zhu Erdan picked up a palm-sized stone from the ground, intending to smash it against his head.

“Don’t! Don’t do that! If you do, I lose. Don’t do it.” Lu Pan stepped forward to stop Zhu Erdan from killing himself.

“I want to be reincarnated as a beast,” Zhu Erdan struggled fiercely against Lu Pan.

“You haven’t reached the end of your lifespan. You must live until eighty,” Lu Pan looked up at the sky.

“Pretend you didn’t hear that,” Lu Pan added.

“Eighty?”

“Pretend you didn’t hear.”

“Fifty more years—just let me die!” Zhu Erdan raised the stone again, threatening to bash his head.

“You cannot, you mustn’t die.”

“Change my head!”

“Alright, change your head!”

“Change my head.”

Lu Pan snatched the stone from Zhu Erdan’s hand, speaking helplessly.

“You’ve agreed?” Zhu Erdan asked in disbelief.

“Change the stone.”

“I want Zhang Xiaoman’s head.”

“Alright, alright, Zhang Xiaoman’s head.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Winning a bet is harder than it seems,” Lu Pan muttered under his breath.

Elsewhere, the rough fellow, having killed Zhang Xiaoman, sat beneath a tree, drinking wine and eating bread.

Suddenly, a gust of wind startled him awake. The rough man rose in panic, scanning his surroundings, and saw the shadow of Zhang Xiaoman, whom he had strangled. Terrified, he fled.

Seeing him attempt to escape, Zhang Xiaoman flickered to appear before him. The rough man collapsed in fright and tried to run in another direction.

Zhang Xiaoman swung her sleeve, knocking him to the ground, then seized him by the throat and lifted him. The rough man rolled his eyes and screamed miserably.

“Brazen ghost, you dare to kill?” Lu Pan appeared just as the rough man was about to die, took Zhang Xiaoman’s soul, and departed.

The coarse fellow gasped desperately for air, and, once he recovered, fled in terror.

Zhang Residence.

“Xiaoman, may I come in?” Madam Zhang and Governor Zhang returned from Ren Zhouwen’s birthday banquet.

Inside, Xiaowei was worried since Zhang Xiaoman hadn’t come home yet. She snapped out of it and pressed herself against the door.

“Master, Madam, Miss is already asleep.”

“After you left, Miss cried for a whole hour and seems to have caught a chill,” Xiaowei said, holding the door.

“She went to bed so early.”

“Has she seen the doctor? Has she taken medicine?”

Outside the door, Governor Zhang inquired.

“Yes, she saw the doctor and took her medicine,” Xiaowei replied quickly.

“Good, we’ll visit Xiaoman tomorrow,” Madam Zhang said to Governor Zhang.

“Alright, Master and Madam, take care,” Xiaowei breathed a sigh of relief.

“Miss, please hurry back,” Xiaowei paced anxiously inside the room.

Zhu Erdan’s home.

“Lu Yuanjun, look at her appearance,” Zhu Erdan said, gazing at Ke Shaorong lying in bed.

“I’ll help you change her head,” Lu Pan glanced at Ke Shaorong, then at Zhang Xiaoman—there was simply no comparison. One was a celestial beauty, the other a hideous woman.

“Lu Yuanjun, you are a great benefactor to me. I will never forget this grace,” Zhu Erdan said, bowing.

“But we must have a gentleman’s agreement—three rules,” Lu Pan was not so easily brushed off. Changing heads was a serious matter; the terms had to be clear.

Zhu Erdan nodded solemnly.

“Zhu Erdan, listen well. First, after I change your wife’s head, you must never let her show her face in public.”

“Agreed.”

“Second, you must never, under any circumstances, let anyone know about this.”

“Agreed.”

“Third, and most important, should anyone find out, I will immediately take back your wife’s head—her life will be forfeit.”

“Agreed,” Zhu Erdan looked at Ke Shaorong and spoke with resolve.

“Good, it’s settled,” Lu Pan said, preparing to act.

“Wait,” Zhu Erdan stepped forward to stop Lu Pan.

“What is it? Are you reneging?” Lu Pan asked.

“Lu Yuanjun, of course not. I just want to know, after you put Zhang Xiaoman’s head on my wife, what happens to her original head? Does it go onto Zhang Xiaoman’s body?” Zhu Erdan asked hurriedly.

“Hmm…”

“No need to ask, I have my own plans.”

“Change her head,” Lu Pan said after a moment’s pause.

Right before Zhu Erdan’s eyes, Lu Pan began the procedure. He raised his fingers like a sword, summoned yin energy, severed Ke Shaorong’s head without a drop of blood, then took Zhang Xiaoman’s head and seamlessly grafted it onto Ke Shaorong’s body.

Zhu Erdan watched with delight, his face brimming with joy.

Lu Pan finished everything, wrapped Ke Shaorong’s head in cloth, and left without another word.

At the same moment, in the Chen Residence.

“Why has the resentment suddenly grown so strong?” Li Xintian was jolted awake, stepped outside, and looked up to see the sky filled with thick resentment, moonlight barely piercing the haze.

On the peak of Skeleton Mountain, a figure in a black cloak and robe, wearing a fierce mask, observed the thickening resentment. A smile appeared beneath the mask. A black dog lay at his feet.

“As expected, the underworld is best at amplifying resentment. It seems the rest of my plans should proceed. Li Xintian, are you ready for all that’s coming?” As he spoke, various spirits and monsters appeared behind him, their eyes glowing red. If Li Xintian were there, his scalp would crawl—they were beings with thousands, even tens of thousands of years of cultivation.

“Who wants to test Li Xintian?” the masked figure asked.

“Black Emperor, I do!” The spirits and monsters clamored.

“You then, Zou Wu,” the Black Emperor raised his hand and pointed to a creature with a feline face, an extraordinarily long tail, white fur with black stripes, tiger-sized, its coat dazzling with multicolored patterns, eyes large and round, four sharp fangs curving from its mouth.

Zou Wu’s eyes glowed red. He strode out slowly, pride evident in his bearing, his face declaring ferocity, and he set off toward the capital.

The Black Emperor watched Zou Wu depart, then vanished into the darkness. The other spirits and monsters melted into shadow, waiting for their chance.

The next morning.

Ke Shaorong woke, yawned, stretched, feeling a soreness in her neck and a heavy head. She noticed a red scar running across her throat.

Ke Shaorong went to freshen up, when someone suddenly embraced her from behind. Without thinking, she jabbed her elbow into the person’s stomach.

“Wow, that was harsh,” Zhu Erdan cried, clutching his stomach.

“Oh, it’s you, husband! I’m sorry!” Ke Shaorong said anxiously. “I thought you were a thief. Does it hurt?”

“So beautiful—even when nervous, you’re beautiful. Changing her head was the right choice,” Zhu Erdan smiled at the thought.

“It doesn’t hurt, not at all,” Zhu Erdan stared at Ke Shaorong.

“That’s good,” Ke Shaorong calmed down.

Zhu Erdan stroked her face, then kissed her cheek.

“Husband, you’re never usually like this,” Ke Shaorong said, blushing.

“Did you do something wrong?” Ke Shaorong asked, recovering from the surprise.

“No, I just feel I never treated you well before, so now I must make it up to you,” Zhu Erdan said sweetly, taking her hand and kissing the back of it.

“Why must you make it up?” Ke Shaorong asked, puzzled.

“Because now, you’re wonderful. I see the present and regret the past,” Zhu Erdan caressed her face with deep affection.

“See… see what? Husband, I don’t understand anything you say,” Ke Shaorong, an illiterate woman, chuckled awkwardly and shook her head.

“No need to understand, darling,” Zhu Erdan said, his eyes burning.

“I must fetch water,” Ke Shaorong shyly dodged his gaze, dressed, and hurried out to the well.

“Good morning, Shaorong,” Zhu Erdan’s father had just risen and stretched, seeing Ke Shaorong drawing water.

“Morning, morning, father,” Ke Shaorong replied cheerfully.

“Ah!” Ke Shaorong saw her reflection in the water, covered her face in fright, and turned away, startling Zhu Erdan’s father.

“Who… who are you?” Zhu Erdan’s father pointed at Ke Shaorong.

“Father, I’m Shaorong—but this face isn’t mine!” Ke Shaorong touched Zhang Xiaoman’s head.

“Father,” Zhu Erdan appeared.

“Erdan, this woman says she’s Shaorong,” Zhu Erdan’s father said.

“Father, I really am Shaorong,” Zhu Erdan hurried forward.

“Husband, husband, how has my face changed like this? Have I been possessed by a ghost?” Ke Shaorong cried, clinging to Zhu Erdan.

“It’s alright, don’t be afraid,” Zhu Erdan exclaimed.

“I remember now! Last night, I dreamed of the Lady of Mercy. She said…” Zhu Erdan paused, thinking how best to invent a story.

“What did she say?” Ke Shaorong pressed.

“She said she’d turn Shaorong into a beauty. I never thought the dream would come true,” Zhu Erdan laughed.