Zhu Erdan

Li Xintian and Chen Yuanwen had dinner together.

"I’m so full. It’s always more comfortable being with my cousin; people at home are just too old-fashioned," Chen Yuanwen said, stretching as he stepped out of the restaurant.

"That’s true, my father is old-fashioned too. Luckily, my mother supports me," Li Xintian nodded in agreement.

"Cousin, let me take you somewhere. Recently, lightning struck the Ten Halls Temple, yet none of the statues fell. Today happens to be the temple’s worship day—why don’t we join the festivities?" Chen Yuanwen continued.

"Cousin, are you just bored and stuffed? You actually want to go to the Ten Halls Temple?" Li Xintian hadn’t expected Chen Yuanwen to be so eager for excitement.

"Come on, staying home is dull. Since we’re out, we should make the most of it. Hurry up, cousin!" Chen Yuanwen walked ahead, waving his hand for Li Xintian to catch up.

Before long, Li Xintian and Chen Yuanwen arrived at the Ten Halls Temple, where everyone was holding incense, pushing and shoving.

"Cousin, let’s not squeeze in—watch out for pickpockets," Li Xintian said as he saw Chen Yuanwen tempted to join the crowd.

"You’re right, I didn’t expect so many people," Chen Yuanwen said, shaking his head and sighing.

"Let’s wait till the crowd thins out. It won’t be packed forever," Li Xintian suggested.

"Let’s go inside," Li Xintian said, and soon he and Chen Yuanwen entered the temple.

"Cousin, look—do you know who that is?" Chen Yuanwen pointed at a man outside the temple, standing at a fortune-telling stall.

"Who? I don’t know him," Li Xintian glanced over and shook his head.

"His name is Zhu Erdan. He’s clueless—neither really dumb nor clever. Whatever he tries, he messes it up," Chen Yuanwen said with a laugh.

As Chen Yuanwen spoke, Zhu Erdan was standing there, fumbling with something, when a couple approached and he happened to take a photo of them.

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to," Zhu Erdan said apologetically.

"This is the eighth fortune stick. Can you help me interpret it?" the woman placed the stick on the table.

"Haha, you want your fortune read? Sit, sit," Zhu Erdan picked up the stick, grinning foolishly.

"Alright, so what do you want to ask? About yourself or your household?" Zhu Erdan sat down with the couple.

"I want to ask about my husband. He’s been bedridden for over three months. I want to know about his illness, how much longer he’ll be laid up," the woman said, glancing at the man.

"Oh, I understand—you’re asking about illness. No problem, leave it to me," Zhu Erdan patted his chest, looked at the stick, then opened a book. After reading, his expression changed and he stood up.

"Madam, you are blessed. This is a moderately lucky stick. It means—" Zhu Erdan began, but the woman interrupted.

"Enough, just tell me directly—will he die or not?" she exchanged glances with the man.

"According to the stick’s words, your husband's illness will gradually improve, so there’s no need to worry," Zhu Erdan said. "Besides, you’re so young—you have many happy days ahead."

Zhu Erdan smiled, oblivious to the couple's displeased expression.

"He’s barely breathing—how could his illness possibly improve?" the woman argued, thinking of her husband lying in bed.

"Hey, do you even know how to interpret fortunes?" she slapped the table.

"Of course I do—I'm reading from the book," Zhu Erdan nodded emphatically.

"Let me see," the woman, unconvinced, picked up the book.

"I clearly drew the eighth stick—the worst one. Why are you interpreting the tenth stick? Nonsense, ridiculous!"

With that, she stood up, tore the book angrily, and the man slammed the table and grabbed another book, ripping it apart.

"Don’t tear up my livelihood!" Zhu Erdan protested, though he didn’t try to stop them.

"You’re cheating people here; I have to tear it up," the woman said, tearing furiously.

"I’m not cheating, I’m not cheating," Zhu Erdan waved his hands desperately.

The couple tossed the torn book fragments at Zhu Erdan, dismantling his stall.

"Wife, help me!" Zhu Erdan cried out in fear.

Ke Shaorong had just finished worshipping the Lord of the First Palace when she heard Zhu Erdan’s cries and dashed out of the temple.

"Who dares bully my husband?" Ke Shaorong leapt forward, kicking the man over, then slapped the woman across the face, sending her stumbling onto the man’s back.

"How dare you bully my husband! Get lost!" Ke Shaorong sat on the woman, gave her another slap, then stood up.

The couple quickly got up, keeping a safe distance from the formidable Ke Shaorong.

"Everyone, judge for yourselves! This scoundrel is a fraud, can’t interpret fortunes, yet comes here to the Ten Halls Temple to cheat people. I drew the worst stick—it means my husband will die, but he lied and said my husband’s illness will improve. Heaven should strike him down!" the woman shouted.

"You’re the foul-mouthed one! My husband meant well, thinking you'd be happy to hear your husband's illness would improve, but you call him names instead. Oh, I see—you’re waiting for your husband to die so you can claim his estate and remarry. A venomous woman like you, if I were King Yama, I’d pull out your tongue and send you straight to the eighteenth level of hell," Ke Shaorong thundered, pointing at her.

"Let’s go, stop arguing," the man, seeing things go awry, hurriedly dragged the woman away.

"Trying to challenge me, are you?" Ke Shaorong said with satisfaction.

"Wife, you’re amazing!" Zhu Erdan applauded.

"Of course, lucky I was here! Otherwise, you’d be a dead immortal by now," Ke Shaorong said proudly, nodding.

"No way, you’re cursing me?" Zhu Erdan protested.

"Husband, since you have no business, why not help me out?" Ke Shaorong remembered she still had stinky tofu to sell.

"I don’t want to! The stall is such a mess, I need to tidy up," Zhu Erdan replied, unwilling to sell stinky tofu.

"Fine, then. Let’s meet on the main street in an hour," Ke Shaorong thought for a moment, then turned to leave the temple, reminding him not to forget.

"Cousin, isn’t this amusing?" Chen Yuanwen was already laughing uncontrollably.

"Zhu Erdan, always after small gains, foolish and clueless—I really think he was meant to be reborn as a pig," Li Xintian said, nodding, without hearing Chen Yuanwen’s remark.