Chapter Thirty-Nine: Perhaps This Feeling Did Not Arrive All At Once

After a long while, Li Xiaoyun whispered, "If you don't come over, I... I will come over myself."

Looking at her determined expression, Li Xiangyang finally compromised. He shifted over cautiously, curling himself into a corner of the padded cotton coat. Their bodies pressed tightly together, their breaths mingling in the confined space. Li Xiaoyun could clearly feel his shivering frame gradually warming up.

"See, that's much better," she said softly. "If you really froze to death, then what would I... what would I do..." She left the rest of the sentence unfinished, but Li Xiangyang understood.

"You girl," he said with a helpless smile, "where did you learn to talk like that?"

"It’s natural," Li Xiaoyun said, lifting her chin. "What, you don't like it?"

Li Xiangyang didn't reply; he just stared at her blankly. Li Xiaoyun wasn't like other girls who were coy and shy. She said what she wanted and did what she pleased, acting with a natural ease that made him feel like the timid one.

"Li Xiangyang," Li Xiaoyun said suddenly, "what do you think will happen after we get out of here..."

"Let's talk about that after we get out," Li Xiangyang interrupted. "For now, you should sleep a while. I'll keep watch."

Li Xiaoyun nodded and rested her head gently on his shoulder. Li Xiangyang could feel her breathing steadying, knowing she was truly exhausted.

It is unclear how much time passed before drowsiness washed over Li Xiangyang. Jolted by a sudden shiver, he immediately nudged Li Xiaoyun awake. "Wake up, wake up!"

"Hmm?" Li Xiaoyun responded groggily, still dazed.

"You can't sleep anymore," Li Xiangyang said as he helped her sit up. "It’s too cold. A short rest is fine, but staying asleep too long will lead to hypothermia."

Li Xiaoyun shook off the fog, though her body felt stiff and her movements were sluggish. "You're right, my hands and feet are numb." She tried to move, but found her fingers wouldn't obey her.

"Don't move, let me help." Li Xiangyang grabbed her hands and began rubbing them vigorously. "We need to get your blood circulating." His palms were dry and warm, calloused from hard work.

A wave of warmth radiated from her palms, slowly chasing away the chill. "I'm sorry, you’re suffering because of me," Li Xiangyang said while massaging her hands. "But there’s no choice; we have to keep moving."

"Fine, we'll move. Tell me," Li Xiaoyun asked as she began to stretch, "how long do we have to stay here?"

"Until dawn." Li Xiangyang pointed at the tiny ventilation hole above them. "Once the sun rises, I can judge our direction by the way the light hits the snow. We'll dig a tunnel and climb down the mountain."

"That's still a long time to wait."

"True," Li Xiangyang laughed. "That's why we need to stay active. Here, let me show you a trick. Wrap your arms like this..." He demonstrated, teaching her simple movements to conserve body heat. Moving within the narrow space, they occasionally bumped into each other, quickly pulling away, feeling a bit awkward.

"You city folks," Li Xiangyang suddenly remarked, "usually never run into things like this, do you?"

"What, looking down on city people?" Li Xiaoyun raised her chin.

"No," Li Xiangyang quickly clarified. "I just think you're quite impressive. Anyone else would have been crying and demanding to go back by now."

"I wouldn't," Li Xiaoyun snorted. "If I were really like that, you’d look down on me even more."

Li Xiangyang paused, surprised that she cared so much about his opinion.

"Anyway, to be honest, we don't know each other very well. Let's start over. My name is Li Xiaoyun, and I'm from the city. My dad is a worker at the machinery plant, and my mom is at the textile mill. I was in high school and almost graduated, but then..." She paused, then continued, "Actually, among us educated youth, I'm quite lucky. Both my parents are workers, so my background is good. If there's a chance, I might be able to return to the city. But..."

"But what?"

"But I don't want to be just a worker. I told you, I want to be a teacher." Li Xiaoyun added with a hint of bitterness, "You know, staying here, I don't know if there's an end in sight. Even if you say the college entrance exams will be restored, I don't think I'd have a chance. I know I'm not that smart."

Li Xiangyang heard the confusion in her words. How many educated youth in this era weren't lost?

"Actually," he thought for a moment, "a person needs something to look forward to. Look at me—I just want to manage things at home well so my mother and sister can be fed and warm. It’s the same for you. Study hard before the exams are restored. Even if you don't succeed, you’ve at least fought for it. And if you don't want to go back, that's fine too. Here, I... we will all help you."

"You," Li Xiaoyun suddenly smiled, "why do you always say such nice things?"

"It’s not about being nice," Li Xiangyang said earnestly. "I truly mean it."

"Then let me tell you something true as well," Li Xiaoyun took a deep breath. "I think I’ve fallen for you."

Li Xiangyang froze.

"Don't be nervous," she said softly. "I just feel that you’re the kind of person who makes others feel at ease. You’re steady in everything you do, and you don't panic when things go wrong." She paused before continuing, "Like right now, we’re trapped here, yet you’re still thinking about how to take care of me, how to keep me from being afraid. You say you don't have that 'special feeling,' but could you tell me what that feeling is actually like?"

Li Xiangyang was silent for a long time.

"To be honest, I don't really know," he finally said slowly. "But I think that feeling should be... seeing someone and just wanting to be good to them. Not because of what they can give you in return, but simply wanting them to be happy."

"Like how you are with your sister?"

"No, that's different," Li Xiangyang shook his head. "That's family affection. But that special feeling should be..." He thought for a moment, then continued, "It should be seeing someone smile and feeling happy yourself; seeing them sad and feeling more anxious than they are. Wanting to protect them, yet hoping they can protect you too. Wanting to witness their success, yet hoping you're worthy of them..."

As he spoke, Li Xiangyang was struck by his own words. He hadn't expected to be able to express so much.

"So that's how it is," Li Xiaoyun said softly. "I understand now."

"Understand what?"

"Understand why you said you didn't have that feeling," Li Xiaoyun smiled. "Because you were genuinely thinking about the question. Unlike some people who say they like someone the moment they see a pretty face."

As she spoke, there was a light in her eyes that Li Xiangyang couldn't quite interpret.

"But Li Xiangyang," she continued, "I think that feeling might not just appear all at once. Like me, I didn't think much of you at first, but slowly..."

She didn't finish, but Li Xiangyang understood. In the enclosed space, the sound of their breathing was exceptionally clear. Li Xiangyang suddenly realized that he didn't know when, but he no longer felt the cold.