Chapter 44: A Glance Filled with Resignation

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I turned around and saw her crouched on the ground, clutching her ankle.

“It hurts... I think... I twisted my ankle.”

Her pretty face was contorted with pain, and tears were about to spill from her eyes.

I was startled. Before I knew it, my feet had carried me toward her.

But after only one step, I stopped.

She and I... no longer had anything to do with each other.

I had no business helping her.

“W-why are you looking at me like that?”

“My foot hurts. Could you help me down the mountain?”

She gazed at me pleadingly. Her pitiful expression, combined with her stunningly beautiful face, still made my heart skip a beat.

“I’ll call someone to help you.”

I wanted to keep my distance from her.

“How long will that take?”

“You’re just... you’re really going to stand there and watch me suffer?”

Tears streamed down her face. She looked angry and aggrieved.

I was utterly helpless and wanted to leave her behind.

But I could not bring myself to abandon her in that state.

Even if she had been a stranger, I would never have managed to simply walk away. And she was hardly a stranger.

Yet if I helped her... I was afraid our entanglement would only grow deeper.

“Gu Yichen! If you won’t help me, then I... I’m not leaving this place.”

“It’ll be dark soon. I’ll freeze to death here! I’ll starve to death!”

“Don’t worry about me!”

When she saw that I still did not move, she lost her temper.

I sighed, completely out of options, then walked over to her and extended my hand.

“I’ll help you down the mountain.”

“Really? All right!”

Her soft, delicate hand immediately clasped mine.

For some reason, a faint blush colored her exquisite face.

“Thank you...”

I said nothing, simply supporting her as we made our way down step by step.

But the mountain path was difficult to navigate. At this rate, it would probably be dark before we reached the bottom.

Dark clouds were gathering in the distance. There would certainly be a heavy downpour that night.

“I’ll carry you.”

I bent down, leaving Liu Zhuyin frozen in surprise.

“C-carry me?”

She suddenly grew shy.

Although we had once been husband and wife,

and had even shared that kind of intimacy,

there had been no real feeling between us. It had been more like a routine, as though other married couples did such things and therefore we had to do them too—a mindless imitation of everyone else.

But this kind of closeness between us was a first in the five years we had been together.

It felt more like we were truly husband and wife.

She was a little nervous, and I felt terribly awkward as well.

“Yes. This will be faster.”

I only wanted to get her down the mountain as quickly as possible and put an end to this uncomfortable situation.

She gave a soft acknowledgment, then finally lowered her delicate body onto my back.

She was slender, but not gaunt. She simply had a small frame.

There was not an ounce too little flesh where there ought to be some,

and not the slightest excess where there ought not to be.

Light as a feather, she was the woman I knew so well.

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I walked toward the foot of the mountain one step at a time, breathing in her fragrant scent.

I could feel her hot breath against my cheek.

And whether it was merely my imagination or not...

I felt the body against my back growing warmer and warmer.

She said nothing, simply lying quietly against me.

Yet from the corner of my eye, I could always catch her stealing glances at me.

Whenever I looked back at her, she hurriedly averted her gaze.

There was something almost bashful about her.

I was deeply surprised.

By all rights, she did not love me. How could she possibly wear such a coy, girlish expression?

Besides, she was a mature woman, not a sweet young girl like Luo Mingzhu.

I understood her less and less.

And yet the atmosphere...

For some reason, it gradually became ambiguous.

“Yichen, are you tired? I... I’m not too heavy, am I?”

After a long while, she finally broke the strange silence.

“No.”

I answered indifferently, and she seemed relieved.

“That’s good.”

“I’ve always exercised.”

“My weight has always stayed around a hundred pounds.”

“I have a good figure, don’t I?”

I knew that her figure was what she took the greatest pride in.

But she had never said anything so self-congratulatory to me before.

She had never flaunted herself in front of me, either.

I did not understand her, but I understood human nature.

When someone was willing to show off in front of you, it meant that, at the very least, they wanted you to know.

The woman she had once been had kept me under a strict embargo.

I could only piece together my understanding of her bit by bit, learning her likes and dislikes through the smallest details.

When had she ever spoken so openly?

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“Do you think I don’t have a good figure?”

She wanted to hear me praise her.

“You do.”

“Just one word? You’re really stingy with words, aren’t you?”

“You weren’t like this before.”

She complained, clearly dissatisfied.

“You weren’t like this before, either.”

I answered softly.

It was as if I were speaking to myself, and yet as if I were speaking to her.

She fell silent for a long time, thinking about how to respond.

In the end, she gave me her answer.

“People change.”

“Yichen, I’ve always wanted to thank you properly.”

“Although I’ve said these things before... I still want to say them again.”

She suddenly became serious, yet her voice was filled with profound emotion.

“Thank you for teaching me what marriage is.”

“And thank you for indulging me and tolerating me throughout these five years.”

“I... I wasn’t a good wife, but you were a good husband.”

“But I... I want to change.”

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Her voice was soft, yet every word reached my ears clearly.

I did not know how to respond.

Because I had already given her my answer.

Two words.

Divorce.

This time, I did not want to say anything more.

I believed she could understand what I meant through my silence.

She sighed and said nothing more.

Instead, she rested her entire head against my shoulder and tightened her arms around me.

The path down the mountain was long.

And yet it seemed to pass in the blink of an eye.

I settled her into the car, started the engine, and drove her home.

Back to her home, not mine.

“I’ve called a doctor. They’ll be here soon.”

“Get some rest.”

After helping her settle onto the sofa, I rose to leave.

But she suddenly seized my wrist.

“Yichen, don’t go... all right?”

She wore that same wounded expression again.

Pitiable, pleading, reluctant...

It was complicated.

I drew a deep breath, unable to understand what she was doing.

And I could not allow myself to understand it.

“I’m sorry, but I have something to do.”

I tried to pull my hand free, but she only tightened her grip.

“Liu Zhuyin, let go.”

I did not want to use force. I was afraid of hurting her.

I wanted her to release me of her own accord.

What I wanted her to let go of was not merely my arm, but our marriage as well.

Yet she only gripped me more tightly.

She said nothing, simply staring at me.

Then tears began to slide down her cheeks.

But I still could not be moved.

I was afraid I would not be able to hold on to my resolve. And besides... I was stubborn by nature.

Our marriage had once been shattered beyond repair.

Now that we had separated, I did not want to turn back, while she was finally looking back...

If she had known this was how things would end, why had she waited until now?

I still harbored some resentment toward her, though very little.

What I felt more than anything was helplessness.

Helplessness at the way fate had toyed with our feelings.

Helplessness at how worthless my own body had become.

Helplessness that she had turned back too late.

Helplessness that we had been destined to meet, yet never destined to stay together.

I reached out and pried her fingers apart one by one.

She stubbornly resisted, but she was not as strong as I was.

One finger, then another.

At last, my arm slipped free from her grasp.

Her sobs grew louder.

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