Chapter 40: How to Make Them Stay

Luo Mingzhu perceived my sadness and chose this way to comfort me.
For five years as husband and wife, though she had never loved me, we had at least treated each other with mutual respect.
I had hoped that we could part ways without bitter words when the time came for divorce.
Yet, it turned out just like any ordinary, worldly couple.
There was no escaping the arguments.
We dug up old grievances, dragging them out at the end of our marriage to voice our mutual dissatisfaction.
We inflicted deep wounds upon each other.
We completely forgot about that shared marriage, the sanctity of you as wife and I as husband.
This was certainly not what I wanted to do.
And yet, I did it anyway...
"Well... but none of that matters anymore."
"There is no possibility between her and me."
Even if she has fallen in love with me now, I will no longer be with her.
Aside from the disappointments of those five years, my physical condition is the greater obstacle.
Besides, there was never any love between us to begin with!
Even now, I do not believe she could truly have grown to like me.
Leaving requires time to heal.
She has merely grown accustomed to my presence, and my sudden departure has disrupted the rhythm of her life, which is why she suddenly feels she needs me.
As for me... ever since Ning Yuanzhou returned, I had already gradually prepared myself to leave.
Naturally, I did not feel oppressed by a sudden withdrawal.
Yet, that she would turn back to look for me was something I had never anticipated.
"Why?"
"Since you like her and she likes you, why not give each other a chance?"
"Though... she was indeed quite terrible, I felt she was truly heartbroken just now."
Luo Mingzhu's words took me by surprise.
With her strong aversion to wrongdoing, she had cursed Liu Zhiyin plenty of times on my behalf.
Yet now, she was actually speaking well of her.
She really was a kind-hearted girl.
"Affection does not necessarily mean we have to be together."
"Besides..."
The words on the tip of my tongue almost slipped out.
Yet I swallowed them back down.
My body could no longer support us truly walking side by side.
I was also afraid that if I fell in love with her again, I would leave with regret and reluctance.
Right now, I can face death squarely.
But if I were to fall in love with her anew, I would grow afraid of dying.
No one is willing to leave behind the person they love most deeply!
"Besides what?"
She looked curious, but I merely shook my head.
"Nothing."
"Alright, you've finished eating, it's time to head back."
"Send me the proposal once it's ready, and we need to start putting in our effort to win this project."
I pushed her out the door. She looked back every few steps, still worried about me.
Yet she also knew that at a time like this, leaving me alone was for the best.
Over the past five years, the greatest skill I had acquired was how to heal my own wounds.
And so, I quickly cast the matter to the back of my mind.
Liu Zhiyin, however, returned home and wept endlessly.
Her heart ached, and she spent the entire night dwelling on my words.
She thought of my coldness, my ruthlessness, and more than that, she thought of my grievances and the pent-up resentment of those five years.
She had never been one to argue unreasoningly; when she knew she was at fault, she would acknowledge it.
She was never one to be smooth-tongued and shift the blame entirely onto others.
Otherwise, she would not have been in such agony.
She did not sleep well the entire night and went to the office the next morning with dark circles under her eyes.
Scarcely had she sat down when Ning Yuanzhou arrived.
He had seen Liu Zhiyin storming off to find me yesterday, after all.
Naturally, he wanted to know what her thoughts were now.
Yet, upon entering and seeing Liu Zhiyin sitting there exhausted, her eyes vacant, a bad premonition arose in his heart.
"A-yin, how did your conversation with Mr. Gu go yesterday?"
Liu Zhiyin raised her head blankly, her expression bleak.
"Badly."
Ning Yuanzhou frowned. "What? Did he still stubbornly refuse to admit it?"
"Didn't you see Luo Mingzhu at his place?"
Liu Zhiyin shook her head in response.
"I saw her."
"You... saw her? Then why did it go badly? This bastard didn't lie to you and claim he has nothing to do with Luo Mingzhu, did he?"
"I saw them buying groceries together with my own eyes!"
"You mustn't believe his nonsense!"
Liu Zhiyin shook her head again. "No, he didn't deny it, but he didn't admit it either."
"He said... it has nothing to do with me."
A look of joy instantly appeared on Ning Yuanzhou's face.
This answer was no different from an admission.
"Then what are you still hesitating for? Divorce him!"
"Didn't this conversation go rather well?"
"Are you planning to keep a man like this around to ring in the New Year?"
He was intensely excited.
At the same time, he marvelled at my audacity; caught red-handed as it were, I was still able to utter such a spine-stiffening statement.
It had certainly saved him a lot of breath!
Yet...
"No, I meant that I was the one who was no good..."
Liu Zhiyin's reply left Ning Yuanzhou completely dumbfounded.
"You were no good? What does that mean?"
He was baffled, and a deeper unease gripped his heart.
Liu Zhiyin let out a profound sigh.
"For five years, it was always he who accommodated me and cared for me."
"I never cared in the least."
"I scolded him for wanting a divorce, and for dallying with Luo Mingzhu."
"I stood on the moral high ground to condemn him."
"Yet in truth... he did me no wrong."
"Even... even if he truly were together with Luo Mingzhu, I would have no grounds to blame him."
"On the contrary... before the divorce, the fault was entirely mine."
"That we reached this point today is entirely of my own doing."
"I cannot blame him..."
Ning Yuanzhou was dumbstruck.
He stared at Liu Zhiyin in utter disbelief.
Had he not been standing right in front of her, he never would have believed that Liu Zhiyin could utter such words.
"A-yin, what... what are you thinking?"
"Even if you wronged him, you're getting divorced anyway, and he has a new woman—what more can you do?"
"Could it be that you still want to win him back?"
That was the exact implication reflected in Liu Zhiyin's words.
"I wronged him, so apologizing is only right."
"I failed his love, so making amends is only right."
"As for Luo Mingzhu, I know... he is not with her."
"Though for five years I never kept him in my heart, I understand the kind of person he is. Otherwise... this marriage wouldn't have lasted five years."
"It's just that right now, no matter what I do, I cannot walk into his heart."
"A-zhou, tell me... how should I win him back?"
Liu Zhiyin smiled bitterly, and as she spoke her final sentence, she suddenly raised her head, gazing intently at Ning Yuanzhou.
"You are a man, you should understand men."
"What should I do..."
"How can I make amends for my mistakes, and how can I restore things between us as they were in the beginning?"
Boom!
Ning Yuanzhou felt as though he had been struck by lightning, his eyes widening.
It was as if he were meeting Liu Zhiyin for the very first time.
"A-yin, have you... have you lost your mind? Even under these circumstances, you still want to win him back?"
"What is there about him that's worth it!"
Ning Yuanzhou gnashed his teeth, his face filled with unwillingness.
Liu Zhiyin paid no attention to his expression; even had she noticed, her heart was not on him, nor would she ponder why he spoke with such a reaction.
"He is kind-hearted, and possesses the sense of responsibility of a husband."
"He is meticulous, considerate, and understands me better than I understand myself."
"By his side, I felt an unprecedented sense of security."
"I cannot say for certain whether this is love, but... the mere thought of parting ways with him for the rest of my life..."
"My heart aches as if being fried in oil."
"Perhaps... I have fallen in love with him."
"Or perhaps, this is simply affection growing with time..."