Chapter 121: Wishful Thinking

"Is it the calligraphy that is good, or the words themselves?"

Guli stood on tiptoe, leaning close to his face to observe his expression intently. Seeing his long, curled eyelashes tremble, she felt as if she had caught a glimpse of his heart, which was beating with a similar, subtle flutter beneath his chest.

Taken by surprise by her sudden proximity, Lie Chang’an felt his heart skip a beat. Holding his breath, he instinctively stepped back. He had always felt that the Princess was quite unusual today—bold, proactive, and radiating a charm that tugged at his heartstrings in a thousand different ways.

Guli was pleased with his reaction. The look on his face inadvertently betrayed his nervousness, granting her a surge of confidence. Her soft, pink lips, glistening with a delicate sheen, curved into a beautiful arc. She lowered her heels and turned back to face the desk. As she turned, the light blue tassels hanging from her jade-like earlobes swayed, dancing slowly in the faint breeze. Lie Chang’an felt his own heart sway along with them.

Guli held up the sheet of rice paper, on which were written the words "Chang’an has Guli, and Guli returns to Chang’an," shaking it in the air. She smiled with great satisfaction. "Yes, this is truly excellent."

Lie Chang’an did not understand her implication. His heart was filled with trepidation, a nagging feeling that something beyond his control was about to happen.

Sure enough, Guli set down the paper and looked up at him. Her clear, bright eyes were filled entirely with his reflection, focused and earnest. With a smile blooming on her vermillion lips, she asked softly, "Lie Chang’an, do you like me?"

Guli really did not want to suffer from insomnia anymore. The days of uncertainty and inner turmoil were simply too difficult to endure. She could not take it, so today, she had to get a clear answer.

As the words left her lips, Lie Chang’an heard a tight string in his mind snap with a dull hum.

He heard his own panicked, frantic voice echoing in his head, repeating the question over and over. How did she know? Had she sensed something? Had she discovered the shameful thoughts hidden deep within his heart, those foolish delusions he should never have entertained? What would she think of him? Would she despise him?

Lie Chang’an’s heart tightened; he dared not dwell on it any further. He shook his head instinctively and hurriedly replied, "No, Princess. How could your humble servant dare to harbor such presumptuous thoughts? You must have misunderstood."

*Thump.*

Guli felt her heart, which had been fluttering like a startled fawn, plummet from the clouds and crash into the ground, where it was swallowed by the darkness, silent and still. All of her nervous anticipation, excitement, and joy were extinguished as if doused by a bucket of cold water poured from the heavens.

Biting her lip, she did not want to reveal her vulnerability or the humiliation of being rejected. Yet, she could not help but cling to a shred of hope, so she lowered her head and asked once more, unwilling to give up, "Really? Do you truly not like me?"

With her head bowed, she bit her pale lips until they were bloodless. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and her body trembled slightly as she struggled to suppress the surging sorrow and grief deep within her heart.

"No."

Lie Chang’an’s voice was strained. He could not help but recall the words the Empress had spoken in the side hall of the Eastern Palace that day. It felt as if every ounce of strength had been drained from his body. "Princess, you have truly misunderstood. Your humble servant would never dare to harbor such extravagant hopes."

"Very well!"

Guli raised her head, maintaining the last vestiges of her pride and composure before him. She let out a sharp laugh. "Good, very good! I just wanted to be sure. If you don't like me, that is for the best! Let me tell you, even if you did like me, I would never like you! Don't you dare dream of it! So, just know your place and never indulge in such foolish delusions!"

It felt as if a sharp blade had been plunged into Lie Chang’an’s heart—a pain far worse than any physical wound he had ever suffered. He struggled to breathe, his eyes reddening as he watched her laugh so heartlessly, each word she spoke piercing the deepest, most vulnerable parts of his inferiority.

How could he dare to hope? Who was he to dream? Everyone constantly reminded him that he was merely indulging in foolish delusions. He was unworthy—he would always be unworthy. No matter how hard he tried, his humble origins would always keep them worlds apart.

Falling in love with her was such a cruel and painful thing. He would forever be forced to watch her from afar, so close yet forever out of reach. Because there would never be a possibility for them. Just as she said—even if he loved her, she would never love him back.

He was merely dreaming.