Chapter 4: The Tale of the Complaining Tongue

By the Pool of Rebirth, beside the Bridge of Regret, there stands one alone in blue robes, smiling as he asks travelers where they are headed.

Obsidian held a copy of "Ghost-Catching Techniques," quietly leaning against a tree in the courtyard, deeply absorbed in his reading. By now, he could already understand the script of this realm, and naturally he did not wish to fall behind in other matters either.

Everyone in the Underworld performed their duties, and even Yan Nianqing had taken office, so the agency received fewer and fewer cases. With so much free time, Obsidian thought it was the perfect opportunity to cram some knowledge, starting from the simplest. Just then, he came across a passage in the book about a type of low-level spirit called the Long-Tongued Woman. These spirits, it said, were usually hardworking, long-suffering women who, after being abandoned by their husbands and dying with deep resentment, turned into such ghosts. The way to dispel their grudges was simple: listen to their complaints until they wept.

Snapping the book shut, Obsidian thought to himself that he ought to find a real case and give it a try.

Ding Ning was busy handling some trivial affairs when, suddenly, he felt a chill down his back. He turned to find Obsidian standing behind him, wearing a rather unsettling smile. Swallowing nervously, Ding Ning asked, “Lord Impermanence, is there… anything I can help you with?”

Obsidian patted Ding Ning on the shoulder with satisfaction. “Is there any Long-Tongued Woman in need of having her grievances resolved?”

Ding Ning thought for a moment, frowning. “There is one… but…” That particular Long-Tongued Woman was infamous in the Underworld for harboring the greatest resentment in history.

Obsidian cut him off before he could finish. “Alright, I get it. Just tell me where to find her!” At last, a chance to practice.

Ding Ning hesitated. “My lord, is this really… advisable?”

“What’s so inadvisable about it? Tell me quickly. If anything goes wrong, I’ll take responsibility,” Obsidian replied.

So Ding Ning handed over the address, praying silently that Lord Impermanence wouldn’t blame him later. After all, this was something his superior never wanted to deal with.

Obsidian took the address and cheerfully made his way to the riverside, stopping beneath the bell-adorned tree to wait.

The Long-Tongued Woman had not yet arrived. Obsidian gazed idly at the river, when suddenly, a round object began to descend slowly from the branch above. It moved so gradually that Obsidian felt his view being gradually blocked. Then, the thing let down its hair, lifted it, and smiled at him—a mouth seeming torn apart, stretched wide, distorting the entire face in a grotesque grin.

“Hehehe…” The Long-Tongued Woman was in high spirits. How lucky! While her sisters had their grievances resolved by crusty old men, the one before her was quite a fine-looking young man!

Obsidian blinked, then his face turned ashen. He leapt several steps back, pressing against the tree. “Mother of mercy!!” God! Jesus! Every Buddha in existence! Amitabha!

Huh? Did she scare him? The Long-Tongued Woman was puzzled. She edged a little closer, curious. This young man must be new! She couldn’t let him run off; otherwise, they might send her one of those old fogies again. Panicked, she hurriedly said, “Young man, don’t be afraid. I’m the woman you have an appointment with. Wait, let me change back to how I looked when I was alive.”

Obsidian, still trembling, waited until he heard nothing and then dared to peek with one eye. Before him now stood a lovely, demure woman, looking at him with a shy smile. “Does the young master find this appearance acceptable?” she asked.

Obsidian’s racing heart finally calmed somewhat. “Well, let’s begin. Whatever grievances you wish to tell, you may tell me.”

He still kept a safe distance, but the woman did not mind. After wandering the Underworld for so many years, it was a rare pleasure to behold someone pleasing to the eye, even from afar.

Thus began her lament…

She sighed. “I am truly a wretched soul! I fell for a heartless man, though I was once the beauty of my village!”

The village’s beauty? Was her name Emerald?

“One year, that man passed through our village and rescued my daughter, who had been caught in a hunter’s trap. I myself was unlettered, and it was my first time meeting someone gifted in poetry and so refined in manner. He wasn’t bad-looking either, and since he had saved my child’s life, I developed feelings for him. After a while, I married that scoundrel.”

So it was a classic tale of the hero saving the damsel!

“Only later did I discover that the trap had been set by him after he spotted me, all so I would feel grateful to him. I was furious, but let it go—after all, my beauty had turned his head. But then I found out he used the same trick to court other girls!”

What a beast!

“I could have tolerated even that. After all, men having several wives and concubines was nothing unusual in those days.”

She could really bear that? Alas, such was feudal society!

“But then, he dared to divorce me! Not a chance! So I chopped him up!” The woman leapt up, shouting in anger.

Obsidian was startled by her ferocity and edged even farther away.

Noticing this, the woman burst into laughter. “Young master, I was only joking! If I’d really done that, I’d be suffering in Hell by now! In truth, that scoundrel died when he went up the mountain to meet a lover and accidentally fell off a cliff.”

Obsidian was speechless, the corners of his mouth twitching. “So what grievance do you bear?”

She smiled. “None, really. I came here with several sisters. The others had suffered so much at his hands that no one wanted to help them resolve their grievances, so I came myself. But I’m not exactly an expert at these things. After listening to all their woes and helping them move on, somehow the resentment shifted onto me.”

She continued to smile as dark mist rose from her body. “Don’t worry, young master. My sisters are gone, and I have nothing left to resent. I won’t trouble you further. I’m just happy to have met such an interesting person before I go.”

Gradually, the woman faded, turning into a beam of white light that soared into the distance and vanished from view.

Obsidian stretched lazily and was about to leave when he noticed a long line of women queued up behind him.

A sense of dread washed over him. “What… are you all doing here?”

The first woman smiled. “Sister Emerald sent us. She said there’s a handsome young man here who can help us resolve our grievances—and we wouldn’t mind feasting our eyes a little while we’re at it!”

Damn you, Emerald…

“Lord Impermanence, why are you still here?” Ding Ning suddenly appeared, asking in confusion.

Obsidian squinted—perfect timing. He looked Ding Ning up and down. Actually, the boy was rather decent-looking himself. Without hesitation, he dragged Ding Ning forward and asked the women, “What do you think of him?”

The woman giggled. “This young man will do nicely, too.”

Obsidian nodded in satisfaction. “Ding, I’ll leave this to you. I’m off!” With that, he strode away without looking back.

Ding Ning tried to stop him. “Lord Impermanence! You’re going the wrong way!” But before he could finish, Obsidian’s figure had already vanished.

As Ding Ning tried to escape, the women quickly blocked his path. “Young man, don’t go!”

“Yes, young man, stay and listen to us…”

“That’s right, that’s right…”

What now? Who could save him? Lord Impermanence, would you please turn around? If you desert me, what am I supposed to do? Ding Ning watched helplessly as he was swallowed by the crowd of women…

Alas, he was doomed…

Meanwhile, Obsidian, glancing back at the sea of black-haired women, congratulated himself on his timely escape. Ding, my boy, you have my gratitude. I’ll give you a raise when you get back!